THE SEARCH FOR APPROVAL
From the moment we’re born, we long for approval. So we head out in search of love and acceptance. We do whatever we can to…
> Get lots of likes on Instagram
> Be as good looking as we can possibly be
> Appear intelligent
> Be successful
> Get people’s attention
> Be hilarious
> Come across as impressive
The only problem is, as we go out in search for love and acceptance and approval, we discover that everyone else is out there doing the same thing.
When Jack meets Jill, he may be trying to get Jill’s approval, but she is too busy to notice. She is focused on trying to get Jack’s approval.
When Ernie hangs out with Bert, Ernie wants to fit in, so he tries to impress Bert. Meanwhile Bert is busy trying to impress Ernie.
So how do we go about fitting in? How do we find approval from others when they are so busy trying to win our approval?
STOP TRYING TO GET PEOPLE TO LIKE YOU
Consider the following: Are we more likely to want to hang around people who are continually trying to impress us, or people who go out of their way to make us feel valued?
We tend to gravitate to those people who make us feel good about ourselves.
Therefore, rather than trying to get people to like us, we need to do whatever we can to help other people feel valued.
HOW DOES VALUING OTHERS HELP US TO FIT IN?
#1 OTHERS ARE MORE LIKELY TO WANT US IN THEIR LIFE
The more we make people feel valued, the more they will want to be around us…
#2 OTHERS ARE MORE LIKELY TO VALUE US
The more we help others feel valued, the more they will feel loved and accepted…
And the more they feel loved and accepted, the less they will need to try and impress others…
They will be free to help other people feel valued…